In the first few weeks of recovery I wondered how quickly I would ‘get it’. 

Like most fellowship halls and meeting places, the 12 steps were posted on the wall and little framed signs served as crown molding just below the ceiling. They read, Live and Let Live, Let Go, Let God, A Day at a Time, I Am Responsible. In all honesty, these snippets of wisdom didn’t make much sense to me for years.

As a newcomer, I thought if I kept reading the steps on the wall that meant I had taken them. When I finally mustered enough courage to ask a woman to be my sponsor, I had no idea what I was in for. One of my first questions to her was, “How long does it take to get this AA thing?”  I can see her smiling, saying, “You can leave whenever you want, but let me ask you something, how many years did you drink and use drugs?” “About 24”, I answered. “If you’re willing to uncover, discover and recover, I’m here for you. So, relax; we’re not doing this on a timeline.”

And so my journey began. 

Twenty three years later, I am still uncovering and discovering when I am open to listening, I gain awareness. 

And the little signs on the wall have taken on new meaning. The 12 steps are tools I can use whenever I feel the need. My phone is filled with numbers of people I can rely on anytime —  day or night. The fellowship, and my friends in recovery have helped me through my most difficult days.

Every time I open the Big Book and read it, it’s as though I never read it before. There is always something new, and where I get my A-Ha moments.

I always feel better leaving a 12 step meeting than before I went in, as something spiritual happens in that hour.  Surrounded by others on the same journey there is no need to rush to the finish line.


Thank you to all who continue to help me on my path.