It’s Your Independence Day

By Dr. Dina Evan


The world is rapidly changing and changing us in the process. It’s time to wake up and step into asking the right questions, to being different, and independently decide who we are and what we want our world to look like.


This is our home

It’s time for us to stop buying into the slick advertising, carefully crafted sound bites and enticing promises that never come to fruition. The ones that promise you ultimate happiness if you buy this car or that house, or say this little white lie.

This means we can no longer afford to give our power away to elected officials, heads of corporations or any person we perceive to have greater power than we have. The only reason could be true is if we gave our power over to them.

Do we teach children to follow rather than lead?  Do we teach boys they are stronger or more powerful than girls?  Do we tell women they have to be submissive, or they will scare people? The answer to that might be in the gender PayScale. The difference between the earnings of women and men has shrunk but only by an infinitesimal amount each year. So, in 2023, for every $1 that men make, women earn $0.83.

Do we turn the responsibility for running our country over to people we know nothing about, but who shouts the loudest?  The answer to each one of these questions is YES, WE DO and that’s exactly how we got to where we are today. We are influenced by people, leaders, and those we often look up to, who are the people who shout the loudest and will say anything to get what they want.


Becoming our authentic selves

We must stop looking outward and begin looking inside of ourselves for our own truth strength and integrity. Most of us know when we are being lied to. We can feel in between the cover-up or over-explaining, the story, or the excuse. Often, we shake our head thinking it would have been simpler if we, or that person, had just told the truth and we wonder why people lie so often. It’s because we have become accustomed to doing it. It’s become an art. We don’t think twice about it or how it damages our character and self-respect.

If we really want independence, we must clean up our own integrity first. That means we find a way to tell our truth straight up with kindness and caring, but we tell the truth, no matter how different and unfamiliar that might be. We risk it because that’s our soul work, pushing us forward to do what we came here to do and be who we came here to be.  The same soul work of every meeting and every sponsor moment. Independence requires authenticity. It requires courage. It requires being an example, truth telling, and it requires showing up and even being the odd person out at times.


Independence requires compassion, without judgment

The examples we have now, are neither independent nor authentic.  Major corporations lie about their products and prices. Elected officials lie about nearly everything to get their own agenda and sadly our parents probably lied, because they were lied to about what is important in life. Not because they wanted to, they simply didn’t know better. So, we gratefully give them a “A” for effort for all they did give us, and we love them for it.

Being independent requires truth telling, showing up authentically and compassion for ourselves and others. It requires staying on the path even when it’s uncomfortable. It requires humility and a willingness to grow. But then, you get to go to a Dairy Queen or have a burger or pizza and enjoy your friends who are also on the path. It’s where you get into bed at night and quietly say to yourself, today, I did what I came here to do. I am independent and becoming exactly who I came here to be and so are those people I love.

This July 4th give yourself the gift of being exactly who you are and sitting with someone you love who is doing the same. Then commit to it every day and wait for the joy and celebrations to arrive.


Dr. Evan is a marriage, family, child therapist and consciousness counselor. She has presented nationwide seminars and workshops, written several books and created meditation CDs for couples, individual and mental health professionals.    602-571-8228