By Barbara Nicholson-Brown


While I never considered myself much of a risk taker — when I was “out of my mind” in an alcoholic stupor wandering the cities I lived in; Chicago and New York — most every step I took was a risk. In the throes of my addiction, I was walking target for danger and darkness. Drunk and defenseless.

So, no matter how hard I tried to hide the truth from myself and those around me — friends and family slipped away, and eventually only the drink remained. At the time nothing else really mattered. 

Even if my best intentions were to be reliable, accountable, honest and true to my word; every promise I made was broken. I was the risk. As my downward spiral was plummeting at the speed of light — there was a moment …. the moment where Grace stepped in. I hope I never forget it. 

Scared and fearful like most addicts and alcoholics; I didn’t know it then, but I was ready for the best investment I could ever make — to recovery, a life of sobriety. 

Today, I get to experience the challenges, upswings and downward turns. Without the aid of any substance, I feel everything from pain and joy to love and loss. My glass was always half empty in my using days. I don’t need a glass or a big bank account to measure the gifts I’ve been blessed with. 

No money in the world can buy the freedom I have. And, I’m eternally grateful.