By Dr. Dina Evan


The greatest love we can have, is the love we have for ourselves, while making sure we do what we came here to do, and become who we came here to become.”


It’s a slippery slope! Where will we end up when what we are being taught to do is choose sides, demean difference and tell the lie that only things of value come in the form of things we can buy.

Today, our role models talk about ethics and then abandon them. Integrity is hard to find in the most important places it’s needed. Humility is nearly non-existent and honesty left several years ago. I never thought I would hear myself use the expression, “In the old days…” but I never expected to get this old in the first place! In today’s jargon, it may be time for an awakening. So, what’s the answer and how do we turn this slide away from important values into bump up in consciousness?? Love may be the only answer, perhaps not the kind in a Valentines card, but then again, love comes in many forms.

The first one is the love we have for ourselves, not in an arrogant or selfish way — but the kind that gives us a stomach ache when we don’t stand in our integrity, as opposed to going along with the abundance of judgment and separation.

Where did we….get the idea that any person has more value than another based upon the color of his or her skin or the language they speaks? We often judge others based upon the amount of money someone has in the bank or their zip code. The greatest love we can have is the love we have for ourselves, while making sure we do what we came here to do, and become who we came here to become.

The second most important kind of love is the kind we have for others, free of judgment and without prejudice. What would the world look like if women and men were treated with the same sense of value and given the same opportunities, or the elderly were as valued as the young, or the person without the ability to get a higher education was offered opportunities as meaningful as those with higher degrees. Spiritual and emotional gifts come from awakened souls and spirits and not always from higher education.

Many of our history makers were never educated in a college. They were educated by life, often lives filled with challenges and pain. Ryan White helped us learn about AIDS and Rosa Parks fought against discrimination. Presidents Harry S. Truman, Abraham Lincoln, and George Washington never attended college but made huge contributions to our democracy. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs never went to college either. It was simply their calling and, in their hearts, and minds, to share their gifts with love for all of us. Love for ourselves and others often comes with the question, “Am I doing what I came here to do?”

In addition, there is love for the earth and how we care for it, love for our laws and how we abide by them, love for our teachers, our parents and kids, love for those who serve or keep us safe or care for us when we are ill. Clearly, it’s time this Valentine’s day to open our hearts and look at all the ways we can demonstrate love for all of humanity, all our families in fact, literally, everyone. Now that may sound Pollyannaish, however, until love is the overriding motivation on this planet we will remain in big trouble.

So this Valentine’s day perhaps we can expand our concepts, give our beloved that special card or gift and then also take a moment to ask ourselves whether we are embodying the love in our own lives and acting from it in all the ways life offers us opportunities to do exactly that.

We have love for each of you and we appreciate the opportunity to share our thoughts with you each month. We love you for your courage, the truths you share in meetings and the support we give each other.

Let’s all open our hearts and make love the guiding priority together, starting now.


Dr. Evan is a marriage, family, child therapist and consciousness counselor. She has presented nationwide seminars and workshops, written several books and created meditation CDs for couples, individual and mental health professionals. She has won national acclaim as a human rights advocate. Visit or call 602-571-8228.