I’m amazed at the awareness’ that you wake up to as you get older. For instance, as I look around me ,I wonder does all this clutter, spiritual or not, give me peace….or would a more of an empty room allow a deeper breath and more space in which to explore. 

As we prepare to gather up and buy more of everything for the holidays…one more light on the tree, one more gift under it, one more, one more. I find myself needing more silence and no longer just leaving the TV on to ramble for company. Besides, the cross talk and talking over each other, the muscle-bound attorneys make me crazy. And it’s not just about sound. I need more space that is not filled with things or feelings other than my own. After all, which of these things will I take with me when I begin again?

There is something wonderful about less and I understand why they say less is more.

In the silence between your breaths, and as Richard John Neuhaus says, “in the middle of now and not yet, I think there is gold.” It’s that spiritual, Christmassy place where you can see that the swirl of sadness of dysfunction around you and know it is not about you — and you can relax your shoulders. It is where you can feel the judgments and chaos and know it’s not you, and you can take a breath and remember who you are — the real you…you know, the person you came here to be. There is great freedom and joy in that.

We can all discover the gifts in the in-between, by just taking a minute to be still and remember what is real. It’s not something you can buy, put in box, tie a ribbon around or order online. It’s that tangible connection of love you feel when you are connected, present and vulnerable to yourself or anyone else.

We have become accustomed to the clutter, the clamor, the tension in the air and in our lives — but we don’t have to be. We can change this and doing so, may be the best Christmas or holiday gift you can give yourself and everyone else. Maybe that is also why we always have our noses glued to our phone or tablets. It’s an escape from the noise outside and it’s also an escape from intimacy which deepens sensory intensity and real connection. It’s been proven that face-to-face relationships last longer whether friendships or lovers.

Relationships are a little like walking in a beautiful forest. The deeper you go into it, the more wonder and beauty you find.

Here is my gift to you and it’s not in a box 

Start your day with just five minutes of sitting still. Feel the air on your skin. Listen to sounds in the environment. Just notice your breathing and your body and see if you can just let go a bit more with each breath. Release the tension you feel in your shoulders or abdomen, or where ever you may be holding it. Just breathe into it and release and let it go. Don’t even bother to be worried about why it’s there or what it is about. Just let it go. Allow your mind to be still but curious and know that is going to give you a gift for the day. You will receive some thought or message that will change your day and perhaps your life. And what do you have to lose? It’s just five minutes of giving the Universe a chance to speak to you and give you a most special gift… and it will.

We wish you every joy in this season and thank you for giving us a chance to be who we are and fulfill our purpose by sharing our truths with you. You are a gift to us so go jingle your bells and do your five minutes!

Dr. Dina is a Marriage, Family, and Child Therapist and Consciousness Counselor. She has presented nationwide seminars and workshops, written several books and created meditation CDs for couples, individual and mental health professionals. She has also won national acclaim as a human rights advocate. Visit www.drdinaevan.com or call her at 602 571-8228.