Here come the hearts and arrows, the five-pound boxes of chocolates and gushing affirmations of adoration…yay, its February! But wait a minute. What would you say if I asked you to tell me what love is?


Is it a noun, a verb or an adjective?

Is it a feeling, an emotion or an action?

Does it come from your heart, your head or somewhere below the belt?

Is it something you do, something you feel or…is it all of the above?

What is real love anyway?


Most of us have no idea what real love is because we’ve never experienced it. I know I didn’t have it as a child, so I didn’t know how to give it to my own children, I had to learn how to express it, receive it or even recognize it. I am old and still learning.


Do you fall into love or do you create it?

I think you can do both. You can find someone, and in an instant, decide that person is your partner for life, or look into your new baby’s eyes and know there is no feeling you will ever feel that will be deeper than what you are feeling in that moment. In an instant, I knew how little I knew, when I saw the tiny hands and felt the strong spirit of my first born and each child after, I knew we’d make it.







When I looked into the beautiful eyes and deep soul of my second child and then heard the audacious spirit of my son and felt the precious giving and compassionate spirit of my youngest, I knew we’d make it. But I also knew that was just the beginning. Somewhere inside I knew there was more to learn about love.

I do think love is about getting emotionally and spiritually naked, without judgments, pretense or protection. But here is the kicker! Love is really, first and foremost, about you—who you are what you are doing. In order to know what love is, one must first learn to give it to oneself because you cannot give something you do not have. For me love is a natural alignment with energy that lacks any separation at all. No judgment for self or other, no pretense or protection… just complete acceptance with mind, body and spirit. It is pure beauty and healing. It is a divine union and we need more of it. However, we are afraid and at the moment, many are much more into control than love, as if there is anything at all one could ever lose by loving.

So, I was thinking the greatest act of love, and courage may be to make my one little corner of the world a bit safer, more loving. Most of the world is asleep. We do not yet see that when anyone or any part of the world is suffering, we are suffering. What if we vowed to stop the suffering in ourselves first, and then in our little part of the world, however we can, and whenever we see it we stop that suffering however we are able. Just that one thing.

Many of us are still afraid to love someone who looks different, has less, is a different color or religion or anything that isn’t exactly the same as us. So what if we vowed to heal the need for distance, sameness and decided to open our hearts to everyone. What might happen if we changed just that one thing.

You pick it. You pick the thing that you feel will bring more love and less will has a whole. You don’t even have to tell anyone. In fact, sometimes, just holding the energy in your heart without the need for reassurance, empowers it and you all the more.

I know. This all goes back to what I have been teaching and what I know in my heart is the most important gift we can give to each other and the world. That is to do what we came here to do and be who we came here to be. When it’s time to leave the planet, will you pause at the door to the other side and look back with a smile and a sense of satisfaction? It doesn’t really matter if you haven’t already started. It only matters that you do. Start now because when you change your little part of the world, a world event actually happens. Suddenly, there is a powerful energy…you!


Dr. Evan specializes in relationships, personal and professional empowerment, compassion and consciousness. 602-997-1200, 602-571-8228, [email protected] and