By By Renee Sieradski, EA

As I write this column, I am struggling with a depressive episode. My SSRI that has worked for over four years at the same dose, has slowly stopped working over the last two months. After bargaining for a few weeks with the reality of the situation and getting some feedback from my husband, we decided I most likely need an increase in my dosage. He did some research online and found the average dose is 40mg per day. I’m on 20 mg, therefore, I’m headed to the doctor’s office and will most likely bump up to 30 mg.

I’ve been down this road before so I know once I start the higher dose, it will take about two weeks before I feel better. Waiting isn’t fun when you don’t feel well. But on the other hand, two weeks isn’t a long time considering it took me 10 years to find this particular medication that lifted my depression.

I also have some random musings rattling around in my brain such as, “Doesn’t it seem strange to have a depressive episode in summer?” Of course, I know Serotonin is not solely produced by the sun’s vitamin D. Also, “If I gained 40 pounds when I went on 20 milligrams, will I gain 20 more pounds if I increase to 30 mg’s?” (as an accountant, I have to break everything down by the math.)

Not Internalizing Other People’s Reactions

When we become self-aware and begin to have self-love, only then can we extend it to others. If we are talking to someone and they become defensive, we’ve hit a shame button. This would be a shift from internalizing their defensiveness and feel shame ourselves asking ourselves “What did I do wrong to deserve that reaction?”

This takes time and a lot of failed attempts. I can attest to this being a continual work in progress. But it’s easier if we can take a step back and realize this person has their own shame and their reaction of defense may have absolutely nothing to do with us.

They could be experiencing shame over fear, anger over shame, or insecurity. It’s an invisible button inside another. It helps us not take a swan-dive into chaos, responsibility for another person’s reaction. We’re okay and hopefully someday they will experience their own self-awareness.

On to Finances

One exciting thing I like to share with my clients is a website maintained by the NAUPA (National Association of Unclaimed Property Administrators). They keep a record of funds the government is holding in trust until owners are located. It’s surprising how many people, due to moving have missing money owed to them because a check didn’t get forwarded.

I encourage you to check it out at www.missingmoney.com. You’ll put in your first and last name, and the state you’re living in (if you’ve moved leave this one blank and do a national search). If you have missing money, it will show up and tell you which government agency is holding the funds.

Usually, it’s the unclaimed funds department of the state that you lived in when the funds were mailed to you and returned to the sender. If you find missing money for your friends, you’ll be their hero. If you find missing money for yourself, it’s pretty exciting. The search will inform you if the value is under $100 because then it might not be worth your time to fill out the paperwork or go down to the state office to claim less than $100.

If the site does return a search stating you have unclaimed funds, it won’t tell you the dollar amount but will tell you if it’s less than $100. You can assume if it doesn’t say “less than $100”, then it’s over. Last year, I received $500 from finding my husband’s name on www.missingmoney.com. It was from a car accident in 2005 where we had to pre-pay our insurance deductible for the car repairs to the auto-body shop and then after the case was settled, the insurance company reimbursed us.  We forgot about the expected reimbursement, moved in 2005, and it was returned to the unclaimed funds department where it stayed for 11 years until I discovered it on missingmoney.com.

My husband and I printed out the Arizona Unclaimed Funds form, filled it out, and had his signature notarized. We took it downtown to the Arizona Department of Revenue and after about 10 minutes, we had a check in our hands for $500. Not bad at all!

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