Would You Rather?

By Dr. Marlo Archer

Creative children routinely pose outrageous hypothetical choices to each other like: 

Would You Rather:

• become invisible at random times -OR- always hear everyone’s thoughts?
• have to sleep with 2 harmless bats in your bedroom -OR- live with 2 pigeons in your kitchen?
• be stranded at sea in a sturdy boat with no supplies -OR- on a flimsy raft with a box of food?

Dating partners seeking to know each other better might ask: 

Would You Rather:

• spend lottery winnings to live your absolute dream -OR- allow your parents to live theirs?
• work long hours, hardly seeing your family -OR- see them more, being unable to support them?
• eat airline food for a week -OR- eat hospital food for a week?

Long-time trusting friends might challenge each other with the likes of:

Would You Rather:

• have a Texas accent and live in New York -OR- have a New York accent and live in Texas?
• live for 400 years, but mostly like a 70 year old -OR- live only 70 years, but all as a 30 year old?
• live in your car to get an education -OR- live in a mansion with nothing to do?

Early in Recovery, addicts might ask:

Would I Rather:

• go to meetings for the rest of my life -OR- only until I don’t need them?
• have to avoid fun people, places, and things -OR- enjoy all the world has to offer?
• call a fellow now to discuss an issue -OR- work it out myself?
• admit to a stranger that I’m in recovery -OR- accept their generous offer politely?
• surrender to a Higher Power -OR- use my own willpower?

Folks who’ve walked the path of Recovery a while, start to hear those questions more like: 

Would I Rather:

• go to meetings for the rest of my life -OR- live in my addiction the rest of my life?
• have to avoid fun people, places, and things -OR- find new fun people, places, and things?
• call a fellow now to discuss an issue -OR- call them later?
• admit to a stranger that I’m in recovery -OR- find another way to dodge their offer?
• surrender to a Higher Power -OR- try to play God myself?

Those trudging road for decades tend to know all the questions actually sound like this:

Would I Rather:

• go to meetings for the rest of my life -OR- die?
• have to avoid fun people, places, and things -OR- die surrounded by addicts?
• call a fellow now to discuss an issue -OR- kill myself with the poison of resentment?
• admit to a stranger that I’m in recovery -OR- die doing something to please someone else?
• surrender to a Higher Power -OR- die with Higher Power shaking it’s head at my fool self?

Dr. Marlo Archer is an AZ licensed and PsyPact psychologist. Dr. Archer co-founded the Arizona Psychodrama Institute. mailto: [email protected] or 602-770-7100.