The Only Way is Up

By Dina Evan, PhD

The world is rapidly changing and many of us are discovering, perhaps for the first time, we must now decide exactly what we believe, who we believe, and who we truly are in any given moment.

We see people in other countries and our own who have lost their homes, livelihood and family members. Around the world people are fleeing abusive governments and leaders and looking to us for support. In our own families, the plans we made and saved up for years may be changing for various reasons. As with all events in our lives…we must ask ourselves… What is this here to teach us? I think the answers are profound!

A better world, just  for today

Do we really understand there is only one humanity, and it is ALL of us?  Are we willing to postpone or give up that next luxury item we planned to buy to make sure another person has food, clothing, a place to live? In other words, who are we really at our core and what do we really believe in?

I am 81 and look back at my life with tremendous gratitude. I grew up in the middle of the Yuma desert, in an Army trailer with an alcoholic mom and abusive father— and I learned to run. I remember running as fast as a five-year-old can, trying hard not to touch the ground. I ran across the desert to get to the road and school bus. And I ran to get to our out-house before a rattlesnake, or scorpion could get me. Eventually we moved to Phoenix, and I left home at 13, went to work passing as an eighteen-year-old, at Doris Heyman Furniture store. I thought I was in heaven.

From there, life was hard but at least the direction was up. Like too many other women, I survived a rape, abuse, raised four kids alone, without support or financial help. The gift my life showed me is who I truly am. I am a strong spiritual woman who didn’t need anyone else to make my decisions for me or take care of me or my children, I found myself! I found me.  Here’s a little quiz to help you discover your true self and perhaps, the reasons you are here in this life you created. It may help you stop hiding behind your mask and if you have one, pitch it into the trash.

This is Who I Am

Take time to explore these questions and write as much as you can about each one. Don’t be shy. If you feel you have a quality, write it down. If you feel you have it, but it could be better, put an asterisk beside it. No one needs to see this but you.

This is who I am emotionally. (Do I share my feelings openly; can I hold a space for others to share their feelings? Am I able to or am I working on healing the feelings that no longer serve me?)

This is who I am intellectually. (Not about I.Q.  About am I curious, open to new thoughts, and taking time to learn new things)

This is who am I spiritually. (Not about dogma, doctrine or religion but rather about do I care about the earth, am I able to love without prejudice, do I have a sense of oneness with all living things) Am I committed to my sobriety?

This is who am I physically. (Not about being size 2 or muscular and buff, but rather, do you take care of your body, do you love it and understand it is where your spirit resides.)

Make a list of all the awards, commendations, certificates, sobriety chips and honors you have received in your life. (Not for boasting but rather for giving yourself some credit.)

Make a list of all the compliments and good things your family, friends or co-workers have told you about yourself if you believe them to be true.

List the areas you want to focus on improving.

And the buckle up for a great new day, knowing yourself better and being more positive!

Dr. Evan is a marriage, family, child therapist and consciousness counselor. She has presented nationwide seminars and workshops, written several books and created meditation CDs for couples, individual and mental health professionals. www.drdinaevan.com    602-571-8228.