By Dina Evan, PhD


Over the past few years we have become so directed to everything out side of our selves we may have lost what matters. I did! I have been so focused on politics, Covid, and all the movements pounding at the door trying in every way to bring us to new awareness’. Of course, all of those things are important, but I just realized I have been blaming what’s happening out in the world, what’s happening in my body as I age, what’s happening everywhere outside of me for what I feel inside. And, for a minute, a very long minute, I lost the meaning in my life. I got so caught up in everything happening out there, I forgot about what’s happening in here.

I was captured by the travesty, the pain, the death, the confusion, the lies, the worries, the fear, and next newsbreak. I was so captured, I lost myself and my real beliefs. We do that, when we get disconnected from Spirit or the meaning in our lives.


You can recognize you are in that disconnected state when you go from relationship to relationship, lover to lover, fear to fear, drink to drink, drug to drug, food to more food and even from candy bar to candy bar — looking for meaning. We might not even recognize we are doing this until we stop for a minute and feel the agony and pain of the loss of the real meaning in our lives. We push it away because it’s excruciating. And, there is only one way to fix it.


The way to fix it is to stop…. for a breath, a minute, a day a week or however long it takes to realize out there isn’t where the fix is. The fix is inside, in that place where we find our authentic self, where our spirit and our truth reside. For me, it was the realization that “the fix” was mine to create and all I had to do was remember to get back to what I know is true.

That is, when I’m standing in my purpose, acting from my spiritual connection and truth, the world around me responds and I begin to create the healing I desire. I can’t do that when I have given my power away to what’s outside of me.

No, I can’t cure Covid, but I can create a body that is healthy and strong and able to fight it if I should get it, I can stay safe and take precautions. No, I can’t stop the lies or selfishness in politics, but I can more clearly recognize them when I hear or witness them, and choose not to overreact or let them debilitate me. I may not be able to instantly stop my addiction, but I can get to a meeting, find a sponsor, talk with a friend or doctor and start the process, all of which returns me to my purpose and power. I can sit in that quiet pause and notice the longing I feel, because it has come to tell me I have given my power away and need to get it back.


Our external reality begins on the inside of us

What we believe, we create. We believed someone else would take care of us so we snoozed, and here we are. Some of us still believe we are invincible, and refuse to wear masks or take precautions, and so here we are. Some of us believe power, or misuse of it, equates to wisdom and, so here we are. And some of us, like me, believed we were being victimized and overwhelmed by all of this, and so here we are.

It’s time to wake up and take back our power to heal. Time to step back into our power to love unconditionally, and that means everyone, regardless of nationality, color, age, gender, religious, spiritual or sexual choices and it means if we don’t, well, it has nothing to do with the people outside of us. It has only to do with who WE are inside.

So what’s missing? I have been, and perhaps, you have been missing in your life too. It’s time to stop being other and outside directed, remember who we really are and exactly what brings real meaning to our lives. Things like fulfilling our own individual purpose, speaking our truth, owning our own power, making a real difference by helping others. It’s all about love and showing up to give it to yourself and everyone else. It may sound Pollyannaish, but isn’t that what you came here to do? Like I was missing in mine, are you what’s missing in your life?

Dr. Evan is a marriage, family, child therapist and consciousness counselor. She has presented nationwide seminars and workshops, written several books and created meditation CDs for couples, individual and mental health professionals. She has also won national acclaim as a human rights advocate. Visit or call 602-571-8228.