When I first sobered up I was frightened, the ‘too scared to live and too scared to die’ feelings overwhelmed me. I was certain that entering a 12 step meeting would mean the end of life as I knew it—and thankfully it was.

With a commitment in my heart to stop destroying myself and those who cared about me, something told me everything would have to change — everything, most importantly me.

The way I lived was nothing short of reckless and selfish — I was a blamer, a victim and my own worst enemy. Being in blackouts, believing the lies I told myself, and trying to convince anyone who would listen, I wasn’t an alcoholic, my motto was “I just over did it again.”

I remember my bottom like it was last week – and know I do not ever wish to go there again or — ever forget it happened.

There isn’t enough room on this page if I wrote out the reasons I love sobriety.

I’ve learned what gratitude means; what service is; that asking for help doesn’t make me weak; I can tell my story and not feel shame; I’ve learned the power of forgiveness and being forgiven; that I can’t change you or the world to suit my wants and needs; and a connection to a Higher Power is always available when I need it most— it is constant.

Today I can lean on you and you can lean on me. We share our history and we laugh and cry and most of all we feel grateful having another chance to do it right. By right, I mean staying on this amazing journey clean and sober. Let’s stay on the path together and see what happens next.