Most of us are not sure what this experience on earth is all about. We are not sure are whether we are doing life, or is life doing us? We wonder why our experiences go from high highs to low lows with an occasional oasis of not much to worry about.

We live with the perception that who we chose to love, what we do to make money and what we accumulate in life is all that matters. We have been taught to believe these are the things that lead to happiness. And yet, when we have done our best to accumulate all of these external things we still feel unfulfilled. So what is the point? Actually this life is part of our spiritual process.
To put this spiritual process in context let’s simplify it. Let’s pretend that you are sitting somewhere, not here, on another plane of awareness. You are about to decide what you what your next life experience to look like and what lessons you would like to learn. You have all the time you need since there is no rush you peruse the past, your accomplishments and all the experiences you have had in each lifetime. You start to be curious about what else you would like to learn. Maybe you want to experience personal empowerment, or what it feels like to be the opposite gender, or a minority or someone who is ill. Why would you do that…because those experiences would add to your soul experience and learning
Since you understand each choice and decision is an education in and of itself, you choose some pretty specific themes. None of these are negative albeit some more challenging than others. After all, Einstein says, “The greatest spirits choose the greatest challenges.”
Once you have decided on your theme experiences, the right people and energy will be drawn to you to help you fulfill your purpose. They may be friends, family, partners or random people who cross your path. They are all master teachers whom you have invited in to help you with your spiritual curriculum. The moment you begin to understand this, you have graduated to spiritual college. You begin to realize everyone and every experience in life is really in service to your soul. They are all reflecting back to you, your values, goals, beliefs and all the places where growth and added learning are needed. They are offering you the profound chance to discover who you really are beyond the cultural mores, the traditions and the family of origin teachings.
Can you feel what an excellent design and experiment this is? Okay now breathe. Think about the people in your life and what they are teaching you. Think about the experiences you have been through, the challenges you have overcome and what you have discovered about yourself. Now, you can pause before taking steps into your future and ask yourself, is this next decision coming from old programming or from my next step in fulfilling my purpose?  
Start to look at your life, the circumstances and people in it objectively. Allow your self to invite fear in and question it. Is the fear coming from your past or is it simply because your next step is unfamiliar? It’s as if off in the distance you can see your true home, true purpose and true self. Each experience along the way is a stepping stone bringing you closer to that reality or taking you farther away with self-deception and ego. Pay attention to where you’re stepping and with whom. Is your next decision taking closer to your true self and your purpose here, or farther away?
Commit to the process without tricking your self. Notice your excuses and rationalizations for taking short cuts, avoiding the tougher lessons or not taking personal responsibility when you know you are wrong. Decide you are more powerful than all of your excuses and you are not willing to miss this opportunity to evolve in consciousness. Don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes. How else can you learn? And, be willing to feel the full gambit of your feelings including fear and angst.
Here is an example out of my playbook. I grew up in an empty room so I have an incredible awareness when people disconnect energetically from me. Being the child of an alcoholic and the middle child I always think that it’s about me, or something I have done. Old programming says, What did you do to make them stop calling? Fortunately wise mind steps in and says, Wait a minute, you don’t even know what’s going on with them. Pick up the phone and call them. 
When I do that, I hear “Oh gosh mom, I am so glad you called. I hurt myself at the gym and have been in bed all day.” 
The point is that it is never about me but ego always thinks it is. Ego fosters separation and spirit fosters healing and connection. So I ask what I can do to help and all the pain goes away. I stepped on the right stone. The one that leads me to my best self. You can do that too.
Dr. Evan is a life/soul coach in Arizona working with individuals, couples and corporations.  She  specializes in relationships, personal and professional empowerment, compassion and consciousness. For more information 602-997-1200, email [email protected] or visit