A True Source of Security

By Bobbe McGinley, Provider for the Division of Problem Gambling
Founder of ACT—Counseling & Education
Clinical Director, Recovery in the Pines and Birches Health

 

The longer we are in recovery, we notice how our awareness increases with the ways we have tried to control people and things. And then the A-Ha moment happens, as we realize our efforts have been useless. What did we ever control? Discovering more effective ways to get our needs met starts by truly accepting our Higher Power as the ‘true source’ of our security. As we begin to surrender our lives to our Higher Power’s care, we will experience less stress and anxiety. It is a promise. We become more able to take part in activities without being concerned with outcomes.

Saying the Serenity Prayer is helpful whenever we begin to recognize the reappearance of our need for control. As we learn to rely more upon the ever-present love of our Higher Power, our confidence in life and the future increases. Our fear of abandonment diminishes and is replaced by the feeling we are worthy people in our own right. We will seek healthy relationships with people who love and take care of themselves which allows us to feel more secure in revealing our feelings — who we really are without judgment.

With daily practice and willingness, we can transfer our former dependence on others to the trust of our Higher Power. One huge benefit is we learn to understand and accept a nurturing and loving fellowship within our community. Our self-confidence grows as we begin to realize with a Higher Power in our lives, we will never be alone again. As we begin to feel comfortable with people in roles of authority, we learn to put our focus on ourselves and discover we have nothing to fear. We recognize others to be like us, with their own fears, defenses, and insecurities. Someone else’s behavior no longer dictates how we feel, as we start acting and not reacting to others. Recognizing our ultimate authority figure is God and God is always with us, will bring calm during life’s storms. When we are in touch with our feelings and learn to express them appropriately, wonderful things begin to happen. Our stress levels decrease, we can express ourselves honestly, and view ourselves as worthy. We learn that expression of true feelings is the healthy way to communicate, and we find that more of our own needs are being met. All we must do is ask.

As we express our feelings, we will experience some levels of pain, but, as our courage increases, the pain decreases, and we develop a sense of peace and serenity. The more willing we are to take risks in releasing our emotions, the more effective our recovery will be. As we understand our Higher Power will help us achieve realistic goals, we begin to work in partnership with God for our future. We place less value on the expectations others have of us, and more value on our own desires to achieve our goals in life. We understand we are competing only with ourselves, and God will enable us to do what is needed to win at life. God brings order to our lives as we surrender control, making it possible for us to continue our journey in meaningful ways. As we feel stronger about ourselves, we become more willing to engage in life, and it can be magical in recovery, so stay on the path.

 

Bobbe is in private practice, where she is CEO, Counselor and Consultant at her agency: ACT – Counseling & Education. She is clinical director at Recovery in the Pines and Birches Health. Visit www.actcounseling.com