When I was active in my addiction and alcoholism, I never cared much about anything — other than my own wants and needs. The word selfish does not come close to how I acted and behaved. If I hurt someone, lied or cheated my way around to get what I wanted—it didn’t matter. Other people in my life, whether family, friends, colleagues or acquaintances, how I affected them did not matter either. And all the times I was confronted or approached about how I was actually killing myself fell on deaf ears.
After I hit bottom on June 17, 1990, I surrendered and began my recovery journey. I jumped into my new way of life with both feet and entered into relationships with my fellows on this path, who were people I could trust, be real and honest with. I learned and continue to do so today, the world does not revolve around me alone.
Through the guidance of a trusted sponsor, I shared all the wrongs, shame and guilt I carried around for years—and was given the opportunity to reset my moral compass. It’s how I live today. I don’t lie. I don’t cheat.
What I do…. is keep my word, try to give more than I take, look you in the eye without the fear you will find out who I really am. I want to be real and want those in my life to be real with me. While life is not a fairytale, it’s the best it has ever been—including all the ups and downs. I am grateful.
Please stay safe, we are not out of this Covid nightmare yet!
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