The Uninvited

Addiction does not take a break from wanting to take a life, if it can seize the chance to destroy. While this time of year is happy and joyful in many ways, it can be a time when sadness, loneliness, isolation, triggers or depression sets in. 

Did you grow up with the Hallmark card image of the holidays? I didn’t. 

When active in my drinking, this time of year was no different than any other day to get loaded. Lying to myself and others was a way of life. I wanted to ‘be part of’ the celebrations — which rarely happened.  I was uninvited to many events because each time I drank — I blacked out, embarrassing not only myself, but others around me. Through the fog, I could hear people say, “Who invited her?” And then I was overwhelmed with the usual trio of shame, guilt and remorse. In my defense, I concocted lies upon lies on who was to blame for my behaviors— it was never me! 

Life was nothing short of a nightmare. In early recovery I wondered if I’d ever have fun again — until I realized I never experienced true fun at all, under any influence.

The belly laughter, camaraderie and happiness comes from surrounding myself with like minded people in recovery who band together like family. 

If you are new to recovery or not; during this time of the year — stay close to those who support your sobriety. And never be ashamed to reach out for help if you need it, we are your family and we care. 

Wishing you peace, joy and gratitude this season from all of us at Together AZ.     

-Barbara