Categories: Sobriety

The Greatest Gift is Choice

By Dr. Dina Evan

Life is filled with choices. Every day we choose what we will wear, what and where to eat, with whom we will walk through life and from moment to moment who we want to be in any given situation. Unfortunately, very often we choose the same repetitive behaviors and responses without realizing we are missing the best class on the planet. The whole point of coming here is to find our who we are, at a core level. What is the nature of your character? What’s in the tapestry of your spirit?

Each day we have the opportunity to choose trust over fear,
love over apathy, intimacy over distance and healing over pain. So, how are we doing when making these, the most important choices of all?
I’d like to share some personal revelations with you about choice. I am 74…way past the speed limit.
For someone elderly, the issue of choice is front and center, especially as choices begin to diminish. Let me show you what I mean. Write on five little pieces of paper, your top five favorite things to do. Now write on five more pieces of paper your most valued friends. Next write on five pieces of paper your 5 most prized possessions. On five more write your five most important values and finally your five most important character traits. Imagine these 25 pieces of paper are sitting in front of you and with each passing year, you discover you have to give up some in each category. Let’s see how that looks.

As you begin to age there are things you may not be physically able to do. Maybe you love running, but at age 70, the risk of a trip and fall accident may require you to give that up. At 70 you will no doubt feel the sadness of some of your friends passing. You might be considering which prized possessions you would like to leave to whom. At 40, I loved a healthy vibrant dialog of two opposing opinions wrestling to find resolve. Today, I am much more apt to let a Trump advocate revel in their denial. I enter into only conversations in which I can learn and the other is also willing to learn.

When I was 50, I valued quiet alone time, at 74, not so much. As you might imagine my paper covered table is rapidly getting cleared and in the end, I am finding there are only a few things I hold precious, or for which I have any interest in holding on to tightly; honesty, presence and integrity.

The things that matter to me most are those that come with genuine, deeply connected moments which have meaning. Why not begin making those choices today? Why wait until we are old to honor what matters most?

How do we get there? We slow down. We take a moment to ask ourselves, is what I am about to say or do in alignment with who I know I am? Is it going to add value to my life and soul’s work? Those questions will immediately, providing you act on the answer, take you into a moment that matters, a place in which you will create greater consciousness. The questions will quickly blow away the small stuff and add meaning and deeper connections in your life. If you haven’t danced in the world of conscious, not to worry, you can always pop back down into unconscious if you really think you need to. If you are one of those people who thinks that conscious is going to put a damper on all your fun…BOY are you in for a surprise. This life is a gift. It’s time to go deep. That is our assignment right now. After all, what else matters? When you are 74 like me, I want you to be able to put your feet up and smile and just like me, have tears in your eyes because you have lived a life filled with great meaning and are blessed beyond words and 30 pieces of paper.

Together AZ

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