This One is for You, Dad!

This One is for You, Dad!

By God’s Grace, this month marks my 25th year of sobriety. As the day approaches, memories flood through me. It was the very worst …. and absolute best day of my life, wrapped into one.

Not only was I full of fear, shame, remorse, guilt, and humiliation — inner torture was swirling inside my mind and body. I was shaking, scared and afraid to move. The bottom hit — and it hurt like hell.

Without consciously knowing it, I was forced by powers greater than myself to make a decision. It was the ‘now or never moment’ — I believe God chose the Now — the Now being sobriety.

How can I ever forget June 17, 1990? It was the first time I admitted out loud I was an alcoholic; asked for help and received it; attended my first 12 step meeting, and, it was Father’s Day.

It was no secret I caused my parents plenty of worry and heartache during my years of using. And, growing up I was the rebel who played the role of black sheep to the hilt. Yet deep down, I knew they loved me and wanted the best for my well-being, no matter what our history.

So telling my dad I had taken a step toward a new life added to my fears that day. I had no idea if I could go more than 24 hours without some kind of poison in my system. But I picked up the phone and called him. My mom answered, and I didn’t say more than “put Dad on then hang up the other line.”  This would be a monumental moment.

Our conversation was brief, honest and emotional. I made my commitment to recovery right then and there to him — and have kept it ever since. There are no words to express my gratitude for this incredible life I’m blessed with in recovery. Thank you to everyone who has helped me along the way .… a day at a time.

And thank you Dad, for your support and loving me through it all.