The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: A Reflection Inspired by the Work of Marie Kondo

I first encountered Marie Kondo’s writings as the pandemic was entering the quarantine phase. I appreciated her warm tone and the practical simplicity of her ideas about tidying up your space. Like many others, I found myself stuck at home with an unknown stretch of time ahead, so I gave her method a try.

Initially, she focused on tidying clothing—getting rid of items you no longer needed, creating order from chaos. I followed her suggestions and found them surprisingly useful. At the time, I didn’t imagine her ideas would have any real relevance to my work as a trauma-informed coach. But as it turns out, they did.

Five years later, I picked up The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, the book that inspired this reflection. I already knew she was enthusiastic about decluttering—but this book takes it to the next level. Kondo promises that if you follow her guidance, you’ll become more decisive, everything will have its place, and your life will “jump-start” in ways you can’t yet imagine. More joy! A completely changed life!

I was skeptical—but also intrigued. And before I knew it, three days later, I had every piece of clothing I owned in a pile in the middle of my living room.

Following her instructions, I picked up each item and asked myself, “Does this spark joy?” If it didn’t, it went into the donation pile. About three-quarters of my clothes didn’t make the cut. I began to grow tired of the process and hadn’t encountered much “magic” yet. But then, when I looked at my closet—organized, spacious, and peaceful—I felt a subtle but powerful shift. Each time I glanced at it, I felt calm.

Then came the shoes. Some dated back to 1980. I was already growing weary, but I kept going. Books were next—and that nearly broke me. Books have always been sacred to me. But Marie’s question, “Do you plan to read this again?” really hit home. I realized I didn’t need to keep them all. The ones that had meaning still lived in my memory. I had 725 books when I stopped counting. I now have around 45.

Next came the stored paper. I gleefully dumped it all on the floor—knowing it would be tedious but hoping the payoff would come. And it did.

Somewhere between paper and cosmetics, I had a series of realizations:

• Living among unused, forgotten, or unloved items is extremely stressful—even oppressive.

• When you have too much of everything, it’s hard to find anything.

• I didn’t miss a single thing I got rid of—I hadn’t even remembered most of it.

• Constantly searching for lost items adds unnecessary anxiety to an already burdened nervous system.

 

These insights aren’t just helpful—they’re crucial for trauma survivors.

Many survivors of complex trauma lacked security during their formative years. It’s understandable, then, that survivors might cling to objects as a way to create a sense of safety. But paradoxically, clutter often increases anxiety rather than reduces it. The body knows. It responds.

As someone who coaches individuals navigating extreme and often heartbreaking trauma, I’m continually in awe of how resilient trauma survivors are. Despite everything, many function at an astonishingly high level. When they begin healing—and more people are seeking help every day—they begin to soar.

Thanks to Marie Kondo, I now have a new tool in my trauma-healing toolkit: tidying up as a gentle, body-informed practice of nervous system care.

 

Here are just a few benefits I’ve observed:

• A tidy space makes it easier to regulate the vagus nerve, which plays a critical role in calming the nervous system.

• Clutter—even if it’s neatly arranged—creates sensory overload that makes it harder to relax.

• When your space is clear, there’s more room for peace, clarity, and dreaming—and time to actualize those dreams.

 

Kondo’s guiding question is simple: “Does it spark joy?” If not—why keep it? We don’t need to hold onto everything that reminds us of past joys. We can gently let go and make space to embrace the present moment with clarity, calm, and joy.

 

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