Gaining Awareness for Connection and Recovery

Gestalt Therapy Principles

Gestalt therapy prioritizes the individual experience, the here/now, and the relationship between awareness and responsibility. Gestalt therapy rejects viewing an individual and their behaviors through the lens of a diagnosis, but rather is more interested in how they experience the world from their perspective. It’s also grounded in the present moment, or in Gestalt therapy language, the “here/now”. Debatably, the most important aspect of Gestalt therapy is our awareness and responsibility as they relate to our body, emotions, and mind.

 

Gestalt Awareness and Responsibility

Awareness and responsibility is how we access meaningful connection. This approach integrates our relationship with our body, emotions, and mind to bring connection within ourselves, our relationships, our environment, and our spirituality. We end up focusing on gargantuan meaning-making tasks, like trying to discover our purpose in life, when bringing connection can be found in even the most unremarkable or innocuous aspects of our life. These “small” aspects of awareness can have a profound impact on meaningful connection.

 

Here/Now

We must first bring ourselves into the present moment, or the “here/now”:

Rather than focusing on understanding or making sense of past narratives, reflecting on how the issues of past narratives appear in the here/now. For example, if my past narrative is experiencing abuse from my parents, then the here/now is the lack of trust in others and fear of closeness I hold in present relationships. As a result of distrust, I push others away. The focus here should be on regaining a healthy relationship with trust because disconnection with trust is what exists in the here/now.

The past narrative no longer exists and the future narrative doesn’t exist yet. From a Gestalt therapy perspective, the past is “fantasyland”. It’s “fantasyland” because our recollection of the past is a fantasy in that no matter how well our memory serves us, we can never recollect our true perception of previous narratives exactly how they happened. Often times we end up romanticizing the past. For example: “I wish I could be the person I used to be”. This is “fantasyland” because no matter how well you remember your past self, it’s a romanticized version. In other words, our mental iterations of the past are skewed or distorted. This isn’t because we want to lie to ourselves, but because our memory and perception is limited.

From a Gestalt therapy perspective, the future is “B—S—land”. It’s “B—S—land” because whatever bs we come up with will never come to fruition. A focus on the future creates potential narratives and anxieties around things that will never happen. We find ourselves catastrophizing about a future that will never happen. This is difficult because the anxiety we may experience in our body (tension, shaking, accelerated heart rate, etc.) is attempting to prepare us for a nonexistent “B—S—land”. “B—S—land” is also dangerous because it typically perpetuates imposed values rather than our true values, which we’ll address more momentarily.

To remain in the here/now, we must notice our physical sensations and what they are attempting to address in the present moment, listen to what signals our emotions are sending us about the present moment, and notice the functions of our thought patterns in the present moment.

 

Gestalt Awareness Practices

The following are methods of practicing Gestalt awareness in our daily lives to bring meaningful connection into daily engagements. This is important for those struggling with trauma, addiction, other issues, and live in a state of disconnection:

 

“Should” vs. “Want”

“Should” is a word that is used to perpetuate imposed values, societal norms, and social standards. When we use “should” language, we are disconnecting from identifying what we truly want and instead identifying with whatever we “should” be doing or the person we “should” become. Examples of these are “I should pursue a high paying job” or “I should know more than I do”. This doesn’t mean that you don’t want a high paying job or that you don’t want to have knowledge, but the added “should” implies imposed values on what is expected of you rather than what you truly want. Instead, reflect on the appropriateness of “should” versus “want”. These examples may change to “I want to pursue a career that I love” or “I want to learn more”. Using “want” claims ownership and responsibility of your values while “should” conforms to others’ values and expectations for you.

 

“It” vs. “I”

“It” is a word that perpetuates disconnection. Sometimes we use “it” to create separation between ourselves and whatever “it” is. This is dismissive of our experiences. For example, “it really hurts” or “it’s not funny” are both ways we may address our own emotions without claiming ownership or responsibility of our own emotions. This creates disconnection and separation between our experience in the here/now and ourselves. Instead, we should use “I” to claim responsibility of our emotions and to provide validation of the importance of our emotions. This changes the dialogue to “I’m really hurt” or “I don’t find this funny”. This claims ownership of our emotions and validates the importance of what we’re feeling as well as the need to express emotions. We typically use “it” because it’s safer to disconnect our emotions from ourselves. We think that if someone attempts to hurt us that de-personalizing emotions from ourselves will make it less painful. This perpetuates fear and the idea that others intend to hurt us.

 

“But” vs. “And”

“But” is a word that creates separation between ideas, further prioritizing disconnection. “And” is an alternative word that promotes integration and allows for multiple things to be true and to be accepted. “But” is dismissive of the individual experience and connection between the body, emotions, and mind.

For example, saying “you’re doing a great job, but have areas for improvement” creates separation and may be dismissive of the first portion of dialogue. Using “and” by saying “you’re doing a great job and have areas for improvement” allows for both experiences to be true and reinforces the importance of the entirety of the statement.

A Gestalt awareness lens allows for us to foster meaningful connection within ourselves and validate the importance of our authenticity in all contexts. It sets the tone for our own self-compassion as well as promoting meaning-making of our own individual experiences.

(Further reading: Downing, J. (1976). Gestalt awareness: Papers from the San Francisco Gestalt Institute.)

 

Ian Hudick, MS is the manager of clinical services at Sierra Tucson. He facilitates psychoeducation groups, works with clients individually, facilitates employee training and development, and develops group curriculum. His punk rock values inform his work through the lens of authenticity, identity, and connection.

 

 

Learn more about Sierra Tucson by visiting https://www.sierratucson.com

For immediate help call 520-624-4000 or 855-578-0241