Are you Ready to Receive the Unexpected Gifts of Giving?

By Tim McLeod, NCRC-II
Director of Alumni Relations & Connect365, Sierra Tucson

 

We’ve all heard that saying “…tis better to give than to receive,” but for those of us in recovery that saying has an even bigger meaning. Talking to a Sierra Tucson alumnus (I’ll call her Jeanine) at our recent Alumni Retreat reminded me of that. Now sober for nearly 28 years, Jeanine admits the life she lives today wouldn’t be possible without sobriety.

Sobriety has given Jeanine the ability to break the generational dysfunction she grew up with and as a result, gave her the ability to be a better mother to her kids than her own mother was to her. The decision to go to treatment 28 years ago changed the course of her life and allowed her to be present in her daughters’ lives through all their challenges and triumphs. As they grew up and started families of their own, she was there every step of the way, when they got married, gave birth, and today she is present as a positive force in her grandchildren’s lives. She knows none of those things would have happened without her successful recovery journey.

Jeanine’s story is a gift she shares with those who are hesitant to seek treatment. She talks with individuals she has never met before and likely will never see again about entering residential treatment. But she’s careful to say that she doesn’t give advice. Instead, she says her service to others is in the form of sharing her truth. She doesn’t hesitate to confess to anyone who asks how treatment saved her life.

Looking back on the person she was before treatment for alcohol use disorder is part of her story. She thinks back on those pre-recovery days and says she doesn’t recognize that person anymore. It is not who she is today. Yet it is in the retelling of her story to others that she is reminded of how far she has come; that is the unexpected gift she receives in return. It is a gift that keeps her recovery in motion and reinforces her gratitude for where she is today.

The other gift recovery gave her, and continues to give her, is a life of service. Jeanine is active in her AA community, and she has been an enthusiastic member of our Sierra Tucson Alumni Community for nearly three decades, leading online recovery groups and attending the Alumni Retreats faithfully year after year. This year was her 28th Sierra Tucson Alumni Retreat.

She admits that her life of service boosts her recovery daily. She is not only encouraged by helping others, but Jeanine now relishes the joy from the lifelong friends she has made within her recovery tribe. She smiles when she talks about all that she has gained. By helping others, she experiences a phenomenon that many of us know as the “Helper’s High.” It’s a term for the happy feeling one gets after doing something good.

Science has confirmed that helping someone else can bring feelings of euphoria. Our brains release endorphins that make us feel good. Studies have shown that in addition, our bodies release the “love hormone,” oxytocin, that elevates our mood. Oxytocin can play a big part in our ability to trust others and to form bonds with individuals. Serotonin is also released, giving us a feeling of calm and serenity. Those hormones along with dopamine work together to block cortisol, thereby lowering stress. Less stress is a recipe for improving happiness.

In AA, the 12th step of recovery is the spiritual awakening that is the result of carrying the message of recovery forward. Over the years Jeanine has told her story and relived her recovery journey with complete strangers. I dare say that she likely couldn’t have predicted 28 years ago what a life of recovery would deliver to her in a multitude of unexpected ways.

This holiday season, consider a way to be of service. Why not tell your story to someone who is struggling? Sharing your most personal experiences and struggles may help someone uncover a path that leads them toward a more hopeful future. And isn’t that the ultimate gift? So, whether you celebrate Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanza, or none of these days, remember that any day you can give the gift of hope is an extraordinary holiday. Even if it is just an ordinary Tuesday.

To learn how to start your path of recovery contact tim.mcleod@sierratucson.com and visit http://www.sierratucson.com