Parents have been trying to figure this out for a long time. Talking to teens isn’t always easy, but it’s a huge part of building a great relationship with your child. An ongoing, meaningful connection between kids and parents is one of the most powerful factors in supporting teen mental and physical health. That includes open communication so teens feel safe talking with parents about what they’re thinking and feeling.
Sometimes the toughest part of communicating is figuring out how to get your teen talking. Whether you want to address something significant or have a friendly chat, breaking the ice can be tough.
Don’t ask “Is everything fine?” When you ask your teen if everything is fine, you’re giving them the message that you want everything to be fine. And questions that are too general, like “How was your day?” as they often produce one or two words that don’t give you any information about your teen’s life or what your child is really feeling.
Ask open-ended questions like, “How was your get-together with so-and-so?” or “How did the test go?”Give your kids the sense that you’re open to anything they have to say, whether positive or not . And try to avoid offering unsolicited advice. Choose moments when your teen seems relaxed and open, rather than trying to push them to open up when they seem stressed or irritable and don’t want to talk.
These years can be rocky as teens struggle to build autonomy and independence — while also dealing with raging hormones and tumultuous emotions. It’s important to let them be their own person and have their own life. However, establishing limits for an adolescent is often necessary. Set boundaries around issues like technology use, going out on school nights, chores, using the car, or staying over at a friend’s house.
Young people are developing their own lives, identity, and their own opinion. And part of that is disagreeing with and pushing back against what they perceive as parental control.
The way you conduct yourself in a conversation shows your child how productive—or how messy—communication can be. Remind yourself how important it is for you to serve as a positive example during the teenage years. And let this be an incentive to avoid yelling, getting overly emotional, or blaming your teen.
(Source: Newport Academy blog, and for more information visit https://www.newportacademy.com/)
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