Dr. Dina Evan Connections are the birth place of deeper, whether it’s between each other, to a stranger or even our own newly uncovered feelings and new awarenesses. For...
Dr. Dina Evan
Connections are the birth place of deeper, whether it’s between each other, to a stranger or even our own newly uncovered feelings and new awarenesses. For those who are aware, those kinds of feelings normally dance in the space between us and yet here we are — socially distancing, faces masked, feeling isolated and painfully missing deeper.
Deeper can be illusive unless you are aware. For instance, after doing spiritual work, I noticed as people approached me I could feel their energy before they were even close. It arises in sadness in me, and I always feel it when people lie to me. You can too if you’re willing to believe what your body feels. Now, keep in mind, that is one you have to be careful with, because most people don’t want the truth or tell the truth so be prepared to be treated like a unicorn.
I felt deeper with the birth of each new child. It was like we chose each other long before they each arrived.
I always feel the deeper when I stand beside my sisters and brothers who are brave enough to stand up for everyone’s rights, not just the entitled or wealthy few.
I think deeper is about the character of our soul. It’s not about talking smart or a level of intelligence or knowledge. Rather, it’s about a willingness to be vulnerable, feel your feelings fully and sharing them truthfully in an unabashed way. Deeper, feels as important to me as breath itself. I can’t imagine my life without it. So, how do we create it in this tumultuous time?
Time for Inventory
Maybe this time-out is a great time to do an inventory about where you are or, are not, willing to go deeper and why or why not.
For instance, are there people with whom you almost never tell your truth — if so why not? Are you afraid they will leave you, be angry with you, speak badly about you? If any of those are true let’s consider telling your truth in a non-offensive way by never using the word you.
The minute you use the word “you,” your listener will become defensive. Instead, maybe say, “I have come to realize what works better for me is to not be interrupted until I finish my thought.”
It’s also important to remember that we all get to wake up at our own pace so if you don’t feel you can go deeper with someone, don’t hold that against them. Just find someone with whom you can go there. I feel like it’s helpful to make a contract with people. I am trying to be more aware and create deeper relationships in my life by telling the truth and talking about feelings, I normally hesitate to share. How would you feel about creating a deeper relationship with me? We can decide together what we want that to look like. Even in this time of distancing we can do this on the phone, with Skype, Facetime, Goggle Duo or Zoom.
You can also create deeper with people you don’t know. For instance I make it a point to nod and smile, even behind my mask, to those who are differently-abled or have a different skin color, age, gender, partner preference or nationality. There are many more places where difference exists with distance and fear, than there are places where deeper thrives. And going deeper ourselves, means it’s up to us to change that.
A Holy Moment
This is a holy moment, unlike any we have ever experienced before, or are apt to experience again. It cries out to us to go deeper into our hearts and souls. It requires going deeper into where separation and hatred live so both can be healed. Deeper into the realization that everyone matters, everyone deserves our respect and everyone deserves love —even those who are not yet awake.
If you believe these words, you are already awake and it is our job, yours and mine to role model and demonstrate these beliefs with our actions. Starting here. Starting now with our very next breath. It won’t be easy. Getting your PhD in consciousness never is. But getting it, is what you came here to do and I will walk beside you as you do it. Just call me if you get stuck. No doubt I have been in that muddy place myself as well and I will remind you the journey is worth it and you are brave and deeply loved.
Dr. Evan is a Marriage, family, child therapist and consciousness counselor. She has presented nationwide seminars and workshops, written several books and created meditation CDs for couples, individual and mental health professionals. She has also won national acclaim as a human rights advocate. Visit http://www.drdinaevan.comor call 602 571-8228.