Change Please

I never expected my body or my eyes to change the way they have. I never expected to look back at six months ago and see how different things were then than they are right now. They say this was all bubbling up a long time ago and we missed it. Did we? Boy, have things changed.

There are things about change we hate. It throws us off balance. We lose our sense of equilibrium and stability. We also wake up to our real priorities and values. The things we’ve often been ignoring become very important suddenly, things like family, being more present, speaking truth and showing up.

In this kind of change we bump around a bit trying to figure out what to do next. Yes, you guessed it, we do this trying to change things, either for the better or back to what they were. We each had dreams of how we would change the world. I wanted to sing opera or write a novel…and then life and four kids happened and well, you know the rest in the story of your own life.

Change works in two ways. It either reaches down into the depth of our awareness and asks us to revise some belief we have been clinging to for dear life, such as believing you can’t live without that partner who cheats on you all the time. Change is actually a wake-up call with a blinding headline that says… See this is who you really are. You can live without him or her and even be happier. Or, when I became a sponsor, I discovered I was really a good person and a great friend, after all.

Or, it asks us to reach out and change someone else’s belief for the better, like showing up in someone’s life who is feeling worthless and there you are showing up so maybe that person can see he or she is not so worthless after all.

The changes we are being asked to make today are monumental. They are putting the real picture of who we are smack dab in our face. They are asking whether we are we willing to give something up for people we don’t even know. For instance, is my right to go where ever I want more important than your right to stay healthy, because either way I need to change something, Change asks us to stand on principle, step up with courage or live with the discovery we have neither. Change is a mighty hero or heroine maker, which reveals the nature of our soul work.

Change can be simple, as simple as loving yourself, loving the person right in front of you, or the person from another country who doesn’t understand a word you are saying. It can call you to stop beating yourself up and forgive yourself the way you forgive others. Change can enhance your character, deepen your discernment and integrity, open your heart for greater giving and warmth. It’s permission giving, for instance you might want to take that trip, or change something in your life to create the one you always wanted. You might change and love yourself enough to give yourself permission to leave an abusive partner or job in order to find your passion and purpose.

The most important thing to understand about change is — when it arrives, there’s only one thing to do….ask it, What are you here to teach me? I believe every person and every event in our life is a lesson. It is always something or someone our own spirit has called in because we were ready. Ready for what? You guessed it…change. So celebrate it, yes even this mess we are in right now. It’s teaching us what we really value, what kind of person we are and what principles and ethics really matter to us. We’re going to get through this. However the question is, who shall we be on the other side? Maybe that is exactly what this time of change is all about. 

Dr. Dina is a Marriage, Family, and Child Therapist and Consciousness Counselor. She has presented nationwide seminars and workshops, written several books and created meditation CDs for couples, individual and mental health professionals. She has also won national acclaim as a human rights advocate. Visit www.drdinaevan.com or call 602 571-8228.