The longer I’m clean and sober, the more I feel a sense of obligation to help others.

Like many addicts and alcoholics in the throes of this disease, my world revolved around me; and the deeper I dove in to it— the more vacant my spirit became. People who cared about me did their best to encourage me to seek help, and the more I heard I had a problem — the farther away I ran. The shame I felt was overwhelming and frightening. “They just don’t understand,” is what I kept telling myself. “I can stop whenever I want to!” A lie most addicts tell themselves.

When I tried to block out the truth, the closer it got. So I moved, changed jobs, friends, sought out lower and lower companions who let me get drunk and high with them and I never felt safe. Those were very dark years and there were many of them. Thinking about that time in my life still gives me chills. Fear and anger ran through my veins, and gratitude was a word I never used.
I came across this quote that sums it up:

“Recovery is not simple abstinence. It’s about healing the brain, remembering how to feel, learning how to make good decisions, becoming the kind of person who can engage in healthy relationships, cultivating the willingness to accept help from others, daring to be honest, and opening up to doing.” ~ Debra Jay

When “me” became “We” and I became willing to change — is when this magnificent journey of recovery began. I am honored to be on this path with you.

Barbara