by Dr. Dina Evan
Perhaps we keep trying to define love because is love is ineffable and often inexpressible. It can’t be bought, sold, traded or downloaded. It creeps in next to our heart to create longing, desire, appreciation and reverence. The same energy that sits beside a dying parent holding on to each lingering moment is also that which lights up the night sky with excitement over a new chance meeting.
Love is the foundation of everything. It is the cohesiveness in the Universe and the motivation for every walk to enlightenment because that is the walk toward the Source of love itself. Love is not an action or a word. It’s two straws, one caramel chocolate shake. It’s grabbing the blanket for cold toes before being asked. It’s being more concerned about giving than getting. Love is art, it’s a soprano’s perfect high “C” and it’s in the center of forgiveness when humanness arrives. Love is not an act.
Acts are not real love. True love is authentic presence. Love is not a word. It is a verb — a whole-souled act of being real and risking everything for a moment in which you can stand emotionally naked and be completely accepted and adored. Love caresses your mind, your soul and your spirit.
Love wants to help you shatter the protective walls so you get to what you came for. Love wraps itself around your soul with reverence for every breath and every challenge that brings growth and deeper connection. Love is committed to deeper connections, with every living thing.
Real love is not ownership, it is freedom and yet it binds us in grace. You can’t demand love, you can only invite it in and if you feel bereft of love, then you have forgotten to give it. Love is everywhere. It sits on street corners in shabby, dirty clothing after having given its heart and soul on a battlefield. It sits caged and waiting to be rescued at shelters, and every now and then, it gets adopted in the form of a child or four-legged furry ball and becomes protected by people whose hearts have stretched to the limit. Love is not pheromones, dopamine, nor epinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin, although this is what love offers as a bonus.
We didn’t come here to get love. We came here to become it. We do that by picking up the pieces of our shattered lives and remembering that love cannot be shattered by anything at all.
We can talk about love in therapisty ways. However, the bottom line is always that love is what crosses the divide when separation arrives. It motivates us to try harder again. It reminds us of our priorities and the reason we were born. Love is an amazing thing, the greatest gift the Universe has to offer. Love never leaves you, but you can leave love. Even when that partner you thought would be a forever one leaves, love arrives the moment you realize you both did your best with what you had and learned a lot in the process. In every circumstance, there is truly only one question and one right answer. “What would love do?”
We talk about love in very fun ways, with flowers, hearts, candy and trinkets this month. We can go deeper and sit quietly and feel the air on our cheek and the sun on our face. That is love. We can be thankful that we have this day and the next to do it better. That is love. We can feel gratitude for every person in our life who has opted to dance it with us, help us grow and stay. That is love. We can cherish the moments of insight, awareness and grace. That is love. We can honor the challenges we have overcome, the milestones we have crossed and the changes we’ve made. That is love. We can look across the table and into the eyes of a beloved or friend and see our reflection. That is love. Life is filled with love. It is everywhere you are.
Don’t miss a minute of it. Just breathe and feel it all. You are loved and with every breath, you have a chance to be it, again and again!