I believe everything unfolds in divine right order, but I have discovered a few more swear words in my process of living that belief.
I left home at 13 and have been a goer ever since. I raised kids by myself. Put myself through school, published books, and started my business by my self. I truly loved the connections and the challenges in all of it. In the last couple of years, however, having been born prior to the health awareness movement, my body has taken the toll.
My generation didn’t know about the importance of exercise or healthy bone building nutrition. Consequently, a few compression fractures in my vertebrae, a broken femur, and other odd and sundry health experiences have slowed me down.
And Netflix has become my friend.
Netflix, Smart TV, computers and cell phones create a slippery slope. Before I knew it, I had, slipped down that slippery slope on my tushie. My world, when I was not at work, which was my saving grace — was filled with sound, distractions and sensory overload. Since I believe everything unfolds in divine right order, I had to face my addiction to these distractions and ask myself what this circumstance was here to teach me.
Facing Vulnerability
Clearly being even temporarily disabled in some ways teaches me empathy for others in suffering pain. It also teaches me patience, and for the first time in my life I had to face how vulnerable I was.
The thought of a child running down an isle at the grocery store, a sudden trip with my cane or any other unexpected, unforeseen occurrence could put me back in the hospital. I have great compassion for those wrestling with our medical system after learning the only medicine that would truly help me, I could not afford at $2000 a month. Receiving was a big lesson I had never had to learn because I was always the strong one, the one in charge. Not so much now.
However, the most important lesson I learned is, that in the silence between the words and between each breath, I hear myself best. In that silence I could create more compassion for myself. I could tap into the healing energy in the Universe and become stronger just by being mindful…without the noise. That mindfulness, or moment-to-moment awareness, gave me answers for each next step and decision.
The judgment of myself, and the medical profession seemed to diminish and a simple grace and patience arrived. I began to trust myself, and the answers I was receiving without pushing so hard. There was a sweet relief in the center of the silence that felt more healing than anything else I was experiencing.
Don’t get me wrong, when the pain is too much for even meditation, Netflix is still my friend but I have found the best friend is me, when I am listening. So I listen more now. I turn down the static and sit in that precious place between the words and the hearts beats and I listen. Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “Meditation is the gesture of welcoming unflinchingly whatever arises, welcoming it into awareness.”
The more plugged into our electronics we are the less we are connected to nature, each other and ourselves. I recently asked my family how many phone numbers and addresses they could remember without looking at their phones. We were astonished to realize we had become so dependent on our toys, there were very few — if any.
Every person and circumstance in our life is a master teacher for us. When we don’t listen to what the universe is teaching, these masters come around again and again. Spiritual maturity is about embracing these lessons without self-judgment because WE have created them to push our souls forward into enlightenment. Great gifts come from being in the moment, in the silence with a receptive mind, an open heart and a soft belly. Take a few minutes to give yourself the gifts that are waiting for you there.