G r a c e

Grace is such a beautiful word, and one definition that seems to be applicable to addicts and alcoholics is this:

“Unmerited divine assistance given humans
for their regeneration or sanctification.”

For 24 years, addiction had me by the throat. Even though I functioned, had a job, lived in a great city, had clothes to wear and money in my bag, I was desperately lonesome, angry, and tired. I spent so much time and energy chasing the next high, or trying to piece together blackouts, followed by another horrible hangover — that was my life. Every morning my entire being was engulfed in shame, fear, denial, and self pity. I was nothing more than an empty shell trying to destroy myself. It was only when my family and friends had finally cut me out of their lives completely that I hit bottom.

Enter divine assistance. As clear as yesterday, I remember the moment — when everything changed — the moment of surrender. Was it Grace?

Obviously my Higher Power believed there was a reason for me to be here, I surely didn’t. And never — not once — have I gone back out to test the waters to see if I was really an alcoholic and addict. I am. I know it.
I was given a chance, not because I earned or deserved it, yet grace stepped in anyway. Everyone who has risen from the dark shadows of addiction — has been granted the very same gift. Grace.

“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.”—Anne Lamott